they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
