Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
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