I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
