this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Randomize
