Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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