when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
