meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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