if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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