I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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