Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize