i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Randomize
