Say something about gay babies.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
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you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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