How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Randomize
