i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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