You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
