Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
