Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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