Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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