This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
