she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
