Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
