just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
