guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
