A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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