I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
That reminds me...we need to get swords
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
