i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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