dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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