Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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