I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
