you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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