Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
