My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
He is an equal opportunity slut.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
