If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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