I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
