I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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