Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
