just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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