Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
