The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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