i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
