In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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