she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
