the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
How's work?
Spinning.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
