Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize