The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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