yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
