As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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