GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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