Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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