I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
