Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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