It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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