I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
