So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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