I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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