Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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