got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
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