Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize