The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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