hotel room ftw
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Randomize
